The Most Important Dating Advice of All !!!!!!

When it comes to dating, there's one mistake that women (and some men) make the most by far. Warning, you won't get the full advice in just reading the first paragraph (I try this trick often enough myself), this is one of those times you have to read the entirety to get the whole picture.

In order to find Mr. (or Mrs.) Right, it's statistically likely that you're going to have to kiss a lot of frogs first. When I say kiss, I mean date, not necessarily kiss, although you might do a lot of that too! Most people don't meet the love of their life within the first few dates they ever go on in their life, and there's a good reason for that. Going on dates with people that aren't our perfect someone, provides the learning opportunities and experiences that help shape and mold us for when we do meet the right person. It helps teach us what we like, what we don't like, what we can settle for, what we can't settle for, what we want to change about ourselves and how we can become the person we want to be.

Unfortunately most us women, lament all the "bad" dates we've been on, when in fact we should be embracing them. Those are the experiences that are getting us ready for the right one. Even the very worst date can help shape us. And the worst dates make the very best stories to laugh about later. Now here's the second part of this advice....

Most of us women go on each date with the hopes, either conscious or subconsciously, that this guy is going to be "the one". Thus everytime he isn't "the one" we feel disappointed and discouraged. However, the fact is that it's likely we're going to have to go on a lot of dates before we meet the one, and those dates are learning opportunities, shouldn't we go on each date expecting it to NOT be the one? Not in a negative way. However, if we go on a date knowing and understanding that statistically this isn't going to be the one, we'll be more relaxed, feel less pressure, enjoy ourselves more, act more like ourselves instead of putting on pretenses, and at the end of the date we won't feel disappointed and sad if he's not the one. We also won't make the mistake of overlooking everyone of his flaws or differences because we're hoping and praying that he's the one even if he's showing many reasons why he's not the one.

So often we women get worked up whether or not a date is going to call us back, when in actuality, most of the time it's a guy we would lose interest in on the second or third date. But we want that call for two reasons, we're still hoping he's the one despite any evidence to the contrary on the first date and number two; we don't want to feel rejected even by a guy that we're not interested in. If we go on a date knowing that he's probably not the one, we enjoy the learning experience and we go away with no expectations, we'll be less likely to torment ourselves over whether a guy is going to call that we really don't like that much anyways. And, aren't we equally rejecting him if WE don't call him after the first date? Not that we want to reject someone, but we shouldn't feel that we're being rejected because he wasn't the one and he hasn't called us.

The moral of the story is that it's better to go on each date expecting nothing to come from it so that instead of being disappointed and discouraged every single time it goes nowhere, we instead enjoy each learning opportunity as practice for when we meet the one, and when it is the right one, we're nicely surprised! We need to shift our expectations about dating and stop feeling blue about "bad" dates and recognize that all those dates are valuable and great experiences in practice for finding our one!